Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
