she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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