dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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