I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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