Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
