I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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