yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
