I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
