I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
