your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
