so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
