Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
