oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
