I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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