i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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