and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this beer tastes like vomit already
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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