i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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