This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
