he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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