My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you never un-have a 4some
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
