You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
