The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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