yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
