Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
nutella sex= disaster
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
