There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I skipped work to stalk him.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Drake has all the answers
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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