I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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