I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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