She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
