Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
