i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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