Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
