I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
