yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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