What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
