Dual....:-)
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
