I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My liver just broke up with me...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When are your genitals available?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
