my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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