I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish i was in the wii world.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
