I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
