and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Life is so much better after having sex.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
