If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
