Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
