Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
