NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
