SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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