Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
