I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
