pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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