she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
