he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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