with your own penis?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
